Arrggghhhh!  In the famous words of my Grandma Fox…”it’s NO GOOD”.  Not one bit of it.  For the twice per week swimming at the gym, I’ve been wearing one of my Speedo tank suits from the late 90’s – pink and blue tie dye – it’s pretty hot.  Except for the fact that it makes my arse look like it’s 2’ long by 2’ wide. Seriously attractive…if you saw my backside coming along, you’d think I was a “brick shithouse”.  Needless to say, this sex-pot suit does not leave the gym…I wouldn’t want random strangers humping my leg.  Ha, ha, ha.

Dilemma of the week…honeymoon season is in t-minus four days…can I lose 50# in four days?  No, but I can possibly locate a tankini that doesn’t make me look like a 70 year old woman with a concrete block in her drawers.  We’ll be hanging out in the jungle, so the howler monkeys should be the only ones that notice.  Hopefully the suit in question won’t attract the howler monkey poo – they like to drop turds on the heads of unsuspecting jungle walkers.  Between the howling and the poop dropping, they are a really funny animal to see.

Whatever happened to these old suits??  Glorious!

They allowed the ladies to hide their self-professed “problem areas”…the thighs, bum, stomach, breasts, etc.  (Plus, I think they are cute as heck!)  Most of us have one or more of these areas that are a “concern” and cause us to do strange, sometimes horrifying procedures to correct them.  I’m calling bull-sheet on it and I’m declaring “honeymoon season” or any other vacation time “Safe” from worrying about what we look like in a swimsuit.  Safe: remember way back when, while playing tag, you would run over to a base and you were SAFE – that’s right, you’re safe…like a cloak of invisibility, except you can walk around with your head held high – even with the block of Type II cement attached to your ass!

Yeah, I am a big talker…that’s why I’ve crafted a muumuu for the trip!  HA!

Hee hee.  The above headline was spoken in the voice of Cartman from South Park.  It’s actually Weight Gain 3000 and he wants to be a beefcake.  He ends up looking more like a human bowling ball…I am looking for a slightly varied end result.  Actually, I sort of already resemble the human bowling ball… My desired result is a burly bean pole.  HA HA.

In true BG form, I was flexing my muscles in the mirror this weekend. Nerd. If you know me, then you know this has been a favorite past-time since I was about four.  The parents and siblings of BG have become immune to it and just nod their heads at my flexeriffic activities.  Mr. Burly, the new husband has not yet figured out if he should comment or pretend it’s not happening.  With time, he too will become immune.

My ADD got the best of me there…back to the conversation at hand.  BG Challenge #1 is to continue the gluten free change and drop these 30#.  Challenge #2 – I want to compete in the October 2010 Alaska Bodybuilding Championships…I’ll let that sink in for a moment.  You might be picturing a crazy looking DeelaDoll with bulging biceps – right on – may as well take advantage of the burly girl goodness!  Plus, there are multiple classes for these competitions, including fitness.  I plan to do this au natural…I don’t need no stinkin’ supplements – plus the majority of them contain gluten.

Besides, who doesn’t want to look like a lubed up carrot strutting around in an itsy bitsy swimsuit and stripper heels!?

Comments?  Suggestions? Want to join me on this challenge (Moniker?)??  We have 9 months – we can do it!!

Another Burly 2010 Challenge!  Mr. Burly takes on Mr. Skoal! (…the image to the right makes Skoal look pretty sexy!)

My husband, while adorable, is a bear right now.  A bear…not a cute, cuddly bear you buy at that Build A Bear cult-workshop…but the kind you see in the Brooks Range, protecting it’s young and it’s food.  Or maybe like the one that ate Timothy Treadwell?   Or?  I won’t provide any examples, because Mr. Burly reads this blog…hi honey.  And because an exaggeration/dramatic story on my part might cause a #1, 4 or 6.

However, Mr. Burly was sweet enough to inform me that there is a spouse page for this type of life-altering experience.  I’ve pasted the text from the page for anyone else out there that might need it…

So…here’s to another Burly 2010 challenge!

Steps To Helping Your Spouse Stay Quit (from killthecan.org)

  1. Don’t nag. It won’t help and will only cause underlying feelings of anger and resentment, all of which are likely to drive your spouse back to the can out of spite. DO NOT throw away your spouses stash. That is their decision to make and if you do it, we are back to the spite thing. WE will make sure they flush it BEFORE they are allowed to post a Day 1 here.
  2. Realize that your spouse has to quit because he/she wants to. Your spouse can’t quit for you or for your children. Without the “want” of doing it, as opposed to the “being told to”, “the promise to”, “the deadline has arrived”, “the guilt” of doing it, chances are the quit will fail.
  3. Support is crucial! Be involved, in a positive way, in your spouse’s quit! Ask what day it is. (There is a quit tracker on the homepage of this site that will keep track of days quit and dollars saved) Tell him/her that you know it is hard and you are proud of him/her for what he/she is doing. Don’t be condescending. Don’t smother. Find the line and toe it.
  4. Gear up; it’s going to be a rough ride! It is important that you know that you will be the target of anger or sudden outbursts. You must know that this is all part of quitting the addiction and ridding the body and mind of the nasty chemicals and dependency that so many of us were foolish enough to subject ourselves to. When the anger gets directed towards you or other family members realize what is going on. Remove the kids from the battle zone, remove yourself. This will pass. We encourage all quitters to come to our site to vent and rage. Get mad at the vets on the site. Vent to other quitters who are going through the same thing or have been where your spouse is now. We have come to love the rage. It signifies healing and recovery. Directed towards the right people (us) it is healthy.
  5. Encourage, allow, desire that your spouse become active on our web site. An overwhelming majority of successful quitters will testify that they could not have succeeded without the support of the people and information on the site. Know that if your spouse is active on the site, he/she will make friends with complete strangers. Internet friends. Your spouse will hopefully give out a phone number and take phone numbers in. There is nothing hinky in this. It is all part of the support system. Spouses have been told, “Honey, I have friends that I have never met, all over the country. They feel like brothers to me and I owe them my life.” Many of us have met in person too. As we travel, we make plans to get together. Organized weekend get-togethers have been done. There is a camaraderie that is generated, that is hard to explain, but wonderful to experience.
  6. Understand that this is going to be the most difficult thing your spouse has ever done. It will also be the most rewarding (just short of marrying you, I’m sure). Internal battles will rage. This board is their outlet. If the rage, short temper, etc. are manifesting itself in ways that affect your relationship, encourage them to see a doctor. Some of us had no choice but to resort to medication to save the world from ourselves. There is no shame in it. It won’t be a permanent thing, just for a couple months. Depression can also be symptom of nicotine cessation. It’s completely normal. If you notice withdrawal from family or friends, again, get them to a doctor. Be encouraging, remember, he’s a big burly man that thinks the last thing he needs is medication to cope. Send a vet a PM and we’ll explain it to them for you; you can stay completely out of it.
  7. Quitting is a wonderful time of self discovery and reflection. Like most of us your spouse probably can’t remember much about life without a can. He can’t remember how he acted, handled situations, etc. This is the fun part of quitting because he gets to, in some ways; condition his mind to hopefully be a better person.

This is awesome! http://www.pfpchallenge.com/ak

For every pound you pledge to lose through June 30, 2010, the Pound For Pound Challenge will donate 14¢ to Feeding America® — enough to deliver one pound of groceries to a local food bank. $800,000 maximum donation.

As of today, Alaska is in 45th place for pounds pledged.  I’m making it today’s mission to “recruit” ten more people.  Yes!

Go burly and non-burly Alaskan’s alike!!